Published on July 11, 2013 by Christian
“Oh, do you have any reservations?” Yes, yes I have many.
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Can’t we just play “cops and robbers” instead?
Well, that’s because I’m just trying to blend in, it has nothing to do with intermarriage or mixed heritage. When I get home I’ll take off all this makeup, put on some Mocs and do a war dance in my tipi.
“Oh, there must have been some great chiefs in your family tree! Wait, I don’t know who that is. Never mind.”
“You do still celebrate Columbus Day, right? No? Okay, me neither, it’s terrible. Put on this construction paper headdress, though.”
Well, if you have to ask…
Reservation? Not my family, we grew up in this thing people call a “house”. Our tribe is a landless non-IRA tribe, we — oh, never mind.
Thank you for your concern. Wait, are you actually concerned for me?
AUGH JUST GIVE ME A CANDY BAR AND STOP TALKING
“Wow, cool! CAN I HAVE ONE, TOO?”
Yes, yes we do. The only rage comes when I remind everyone I’m vegetarian.
No, I don’t dance (no rhythm). Yes, my tribe does them. Yes, I have family members that participate. Yes, you can go if you don’t act weird. No, please don’t imitate what you saw at one.
No, just stop right there. She wasn’t. If you do have native heritage maybe you should go do some more research.
Well, considering that many of our languages are struggling to be preserved and relearned I’ll just go ahead and politely decline this little pageant.
Do I look like I’m not offended?
Do you have another annoying thing to add to the list? Comment below and let us know!